Unplanned Pregnancy

True Stories from Women Like YouHer Choice: Lisa's Story

A lovely young woman with a 2-year-old son at her side and a 3-month-old daughter in her arms walked into Birth Choice. She brought clothing for our clothes closet. "You helped me so much when I needed it," she explained. "I want to give something back." The volunteers on duty that day hadn’t met her, so Lisa sat down and recounted her experiences of the past several years. "I grew up in a home where there were no rules," Lisa said wistfully. I started having sex in junior high, and it damaged me a lot. I knew I needed to change my ways, but I couldn’t seem to do it. I really did believe in getting a good education. Finally I thought if I went to a school where there were no boys, maybe I could get a fresh start." Her mother liked the idea, and located a prestigious boarding school in another state for her daughter. Lisa applied and was accepted.

Lisa had just turned 16 and was undergoing routine health exams required for entrance. While waiting for her results, she was struck by a picture on the clinic wall of a kitten struggling with a ball of yarn. The caption read, "God never gives us more than we can bear." That was unusual for a medical facility, she thought. The doctor soon met with her and broke the news that she was three months pregnant. She was appalled. She thought, "I’m one month too late. I was going to change, but I’m one month too late." Then the doctor asked if he could pray with her. Dazed, she agreed and later recognized that the picture and the prayer, the very first associations she had with her pregnancy, were God’s clear message of His care for her and her baby. Most clinics that serve schools refer girls for abortions. Lisa later marveled that this doctor set the tone for her whole pregnancy with his kindness and his expression of confidence that she could overcome the difficulties he knew she would encounter with God’s strength.

Being pregnant, she had to leave the school. Her mother’s heart sank. She insisted that Lisa have an abortion. Lisa makes it very clear that her mother is a compassionate woman whom she loves and respects very much. She truly believed abortion was in her daughter’s best interest. Reluctantly Lisa went with her to the abortion clinic. She donned the gown and watched as the abortionist showed her the tube with the knife-like edge he would use, and turned on the suction machine for her to hear. The nurse showed her a 12-week-old fetus in a jar of formaldehyde. "See, it’s nothing," she said. But Lisa was looking at a tiny, fully formed human being about 3 inches long! She was horrified that the dead child was being called "nothing" and was being treated so cavalierly as a mere specimen. Lisa jumped off the table and cried, "I can’t do this!" She ran out of the room, put on her own clothes and walked out of the building. "You aren’t coming home with me!" her dismayed mother cried. But she did make some phone calls to find a home for unwed mothers where Lisa could live.

The maternity home was hundreds of miles away. When Lisa arrived, she found it was a juvenile detention facility for pregnant girls. Every other girl there was in trouble with the law. They taunted Lisa and threatened her. She lived in fear, but she did manage to benefit from the child care and high school classes she attended. After a month she called her father, telling him she was pregnant and living in an violent place. He sent her a plane ticket and said she could live with him. She fled the home with nothing but the clothes on her back.

It was a relief to be living safely with her dad, but he was very ill and could not help her with food and clothing. A neighbor suggested she visit Birth Choice. "You gave me clothes to wear, you helped me apply for WIC (the food supplement program), you helped me with my medical needs, and I watched videos about the baby growing inside me which all were so helpful," she told us. "I had nothing until I came to you."

Lisa carried the responsibility of taking care of her ailing father. An alcoholic most of his life, he suffered from cirrhosis of the liver. Eventually he had to be hospitalized. Not long afterward, he passed away. "I was so grateful to have that time to be with my father, Lisa said. "He was never around when I was growing up. I never really knew him. Those few months were so meaningful to me."

Now Lisa moved in with her mother who had softened and become more supportive. Education had always been important to Lisa, and she delved into her high school continuation studies. She decided to tell her boyfriend about her pregnancy. Though they had parted ways when she went away to the boarding school, he was ready to take responsibility for his child, and they resumed their relationship.

The day arrived when Lisa gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. His grandmother adores him. Three months later Lisa and her boyfriend were married. They are working hard to build a strong family. Mother and newborn son continued classes together. Lisa was so determined to do well in school that many of her assignments were done with her baby in her left arm while she wrote with her right. She is pleased that she not only graduated from high school, but also took several college classes before her second child, a little daughter was born. At 18 years of age Lisa says, "When I look at the carefree lives of my friends, I do see that my life is hard, but I am very thankful for my kids and my husband."

The volunteers who heard Lisa’s story were deeply moved. One had recently had a 16-year-old client whose situation was almost identical to Lisa’s. This girl wanted to give birth to her baby, but she simply could not resist her mother’s pressure and threats and tragically aborted her baby. Abortion is seldom "a woman’s choice." Most often it is other people who are pressuring, even forcing her, so that abortion is really an act of desperation and feeling alone, not choice. The Birth Choice volunteer asked Lisa what made the difference in her case. Lisa replied that she had gone a to a church youth group during her junior high years, and though she didn’t live out what she was being taught, when the crisis came, she knew that God would always take care of her.

She never forgot the special way God spoke to her through the picture and the doctor’s prayer when she first learned she was pregnant. These gave her strength to do what was right against great odds. Lisa remarks, "I had no idea how many people out there were willing to help me. I think many girls who abort don’t know there are places like Birth Choice, and many people who will step in and really support them."

Lisa emphasizes that she and her mother are the best of friends now. She wants to encourage other girls who fear their friends and family will abandon them if they go through with a pregnancy. Most of the time their relationships will actually become stronger as people see the courage and integrity of a young woman who is willing to endure hardship to give life to her baby.

The mission statement of Birth Choice reads "No problem is so great that it warrants the destruction of an unborn child". When circumstances make choosing life difficult, we ought to step in and relieve and support the struggling person as we do at Birth Choice, not take an innocent life and then say we’ve been helpful. Lisa’s son lives because Lisa refused to let anyone or anything take precedence over her son’s very life. When she needed someone to stand with her, Birth Choice was there to provide love, truth and practical help so that her child could be welcomed into the world.

Lisa now occasionally accompanies Birth Choice speakers when they address high school and junior high students. She shares her experience with great passion, and makes a fervent defense for the lives of unborn babies. She is working on a college degree part time and is raising her children well. She is living out the words of the scripture, "Now choose life so that you and your children may live; that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice and hold fast to Him, for the Lord is your life." (Deuteronomy 30:19, 20)

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