Unplanned Pregnancy

True Stories from Women Like YouHer Choice: Kathy

Twenty-three year old Kathy was scared when she found out she was pregnant. When she told her 27 year-old boyfriend, he was supportive, so she got excited and began making plans for the baby. A few days later her boyfriend changed his mind, and now wanted her to have an abortion.

Kathy was crushed. Her hurt turned to anger, and though she didn’t want to abort, she felt it was the best way to get her boyfriend out of her life and make a fresh start. One day this innocent child was highly valued and loved, and the next she was scheduled to undergo a painful, brutal death, depending on the temporary emotional state of the adults in her life.

Kathy had been raised in Europe where abortion is almost automatic if a pregnancy is unplanned. She told her Birth Choice counselor she had never been religious. But the night before her abortion appointment, she began to feel terrible about what she was going to do. She cried out, “Oh, God, if there is a God, do something to stop me from having this abortion!” She went to bed, got up the next morning and got dressed.

Kathy’s mother reluctantly drove her to the clinic to provide support. Kathy was taken to a room where she put on a surgical gown. All of a sudden there was a power outage! All clinic activity came to a halt.

 Kathy was annoyed. She forgot about her anguished prayer. She had “psyched herself up” for this ordeal and wanted to get it over with. While waiting for the power to return, she struck up a conversation with a girl sitting next to her. Tamara was pregnant with twins. She was already raising a toddler alone and couldn’t imagine caring for two more babies. The young women shared their sadness over what they felt forced into doing. After waiting two hours and still the power did not return, they knew they would have to make new appointments. They determined that they would reschedule their abortions at the same time so they could go through this together.

Several days later Kathy, her mother and Tamara returned to the abortion clinic. Before an abortion is performed, an ultrasound image is taken to learn the baby’s gestational age and location in the uterus so the abortionist can determine which method he will use. Tamara had had her ultrasound on her first visit, so she was scheduled for the first abortion. She donned her gown. Kathy still needed to have her ultrasound done. Normally the clinic personnel do not allow women to see their ultrasound images because they so clearly show the humanity of the child in the womb. But somehow Kathy managed to see hers. She was stunned! She was carrying a tiny, perfectly formed baby! “It’s just a slug,” said the nurse. Upset at that callous, unprofessional, untrue remark and reeling from the realization of what she had just seen, Kathy asked to have her mother sent in to her room. The nurse refused. It is against policy to allow a girl to talk to her mother in the midst of a procedure. Kathy began to feel horrified at how wrong everything seemed.

Suddenly she remembered her desperate prayer. How could she have missed God’s obvious answer when the power failed? She wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Then she thought about Tamara. Was it too late to rescue her? She looked up and down the hall trying to find her.

She spotted Tamara storming out of her treatment room still in her gown. Tamara had had a last minute change of heart, too! They both ran to the comforting arms of Kathy’s mother in the lobby. She had never been in favor of the abortion of her grandchild. The three women shared their relief and joy that Kathy’s and Tamara’s babies would live!

Kathy’s whole attitude about her pregnancy changed. She became eager to welcome her child into her life. But her joy was marred by the reactions she received from friends and colleagues. Kathy had a prestigious job with a promising future. Her co-workers thought she was foolish to “throw it all away” on an unplanned pregnancy. Even when she shared her dramatic near-abortion experience and showed them the ultrasound pictures, they still criticized her for valuing her child’s life over her career. A few were even angry with her. Pro-life people know this usually means the angry person is post-abortive herself and must justify her own abortion at any cost.

This is what legal abortion has given us. More babies must be devalued and die to make it okay that the earlier ones died, all cloaked in the name of “choice.”

Kathy felt very alone and misunderstood. Then someone told her about Birth Choice. At last she found the affirmation and friendship she needed. “You were the only ones besides my mother who supported me,” she told us. Unlike many of our clients, Kathy didn’t need our financial help, but she was in great need of moral support and encouragement. “It was so good to have someone to talk to who supported me,” she said. Even when a woman has made the decision to carry her child to term, pressure from others to abort can become overwhelming, and in a weak moment she could succumb. Does this sound like “a woman’s choice?”

Our volunteers strive to encourage our clients regularly, affirming the rightness of their decision, their ability to overcome difficulty and the infinite value of their baby’s life.

In her seventh month Kathy’s boyfriend wanted to see her again. He was sorry he had not been supportive. He was glad Kathy had been strong and was giving their child life. They are cautiously resuming their relationship.

The day arrived when Birth Choice received an exquisite, handmade birth announcement from Kathy. She was the proud mother of a beautiful baby girl. She explained to us the special name she had given her daughter. The name means “gift of God.” A picture was enclosed along with Kathy’s profuse thanks for our help. She raved about how her little girl is the joy of her life.

The temporary, fluctuating feelings and circumstances of the adults in this child’s life almost sent her to her death, a thought that now makes Kathy shudder. Death for her baby as the solution to a woman’s distress rather than raising her self confidence and finding help is all the pro-choice people want to offer. Kathy is eternally grateful that she was able to resist that pressure. Instead of living with shame for caving in to criticism, self-loathing for killing her child to solve her problems, grief over the loss of her child and possible physical damage, Kathy lives with the joy of discovering how strong she could be, a healthy body and soul, a newfound faith in God, and her precious child to love. What a comparison! Birth Choice is blessed to have had a part in affirming the infinite value of both Kathy’s and her daughter’s lives.

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